Babysitting Blues
by Nova-chan
Summary: Xelas comes home to find her baby Xelloss...
1. The Plan

Babysitting Blues  
  
**  
  
Xelloss: Couldn't think of a better title than that?  
  
NoV: Don't you worry, Xelloss, you'll get yours.  
  
Xelloss: Well, it's about time I got paid for this! I'll take cash or sexual favors, please.  
  
Lina: (bonks Xelloss on the head) That's not what she meant, you fruitcake.  
  
Zelgadis: So, what's with the sudden mystery fic that you haven't explained to anyone in this room? Is it about me? Just get it over with! Is it??  
  
NoV: Nope. ^.^  
  
Zelgadis: Good. I don't want to be babysitting some annoying little kids who'll grab my clothes and pull my hair and chisel my face and spread diseases and ultimately bring about the doom of mankind!!!  
  
NoV: Well......that is exactly the kind of logic and paranoia instilled in the main character of this story.  
  
Gourry: OOOOOoooooOOOOoooooOOOooohhh.  
  
NoV: .....indeed.  
  
Amelia: Why haven't you revealed anything about this particular fic to us?? It is unJusticeful to keep secrets! (eyes Xelloss)  
  
NoV: Well....let's just say I don't want this certain person to flee before the fic begins because they don't want to go through with it or something.....  
  
Xelloss: See, Zel-chan? She lied to you. You'll be ridden with doom by the children of the corn-err the apocalypse!  
  
Zelgadis: What?? No!  
  
NoV: Don't listen to him. He has no idea what he's talking about. (cracks knuckles) Well, I guess it's about time to start the fic. Enjoy! ^_^  
  
**  
  
Xelloss sat perched on the branch of a tall oak tree, overlooking a small restaurant. He leaned against the trunk of the tree, putting his arms behind his head, in a relaxed pose. The mazoku watched Lina and Gourry inside the restaurant, battling over food, while Amelia clung to Zelgadis on the other end of the table. It seemed that it would be another typical day traveling around with Lina Inverse and her small crew.  
  
Xelloss! a voice snapped in his head. I'd like to see you now.  
  
Without having to think, Xelloss teleported from the branch to Zelas' throne room on Wolf Pack Island. He landed in a kneeling position, lifting his head to look upon his creator.  
  
"Yes, Mommy?" he asked in anticipation, his eyes growing large and sparkily.  
  
"Um....." Zelas stared at his impossibly huge eyes for a moment. "I wanted to talk to you about a few things-" She was abruptly cut off.  
  
"You're replacing me, aren't you??" Xelloss cried.  
  
"No," Beastmaster replied, furrowing her eyebrows.  
  
"Then, you're just going to destroy me! Or send me away! Or punish me! Or eat me! Or-or-stop loving me!!!" he wailed.  
  
"NO!! I command you to stop that!" she roared.  
  
"Meep," he squeaked.  
  
"Now," she continued, swirling her wine around its glass, "as I was saying, I need to talk to you about some things.....to prepare you for what I'm going to do." He opened his mouth to accuse her of something else, but she held up her hand, silencing him. "I don't want you to panic about what I'm going to tell you. Just allow your mind to take it all in. Oh-kay?" Xelloss nodded. She sighed. "All right. Tomorrow, I'm leaving for the Bahamas and I'll be gone for three weeks."  
  
He didn't respond.  
  
"Are you going to die without me here?" she wondered, raising an eyebrow.  
  
His left eyelid twitched.  
  
"Xelloss?"  
  
His bottom lip quivered.  
  
"Are you oh-kay?"  
  
He suddenly latched onto her leg, tears streaming down his face. "Please don't leave me alone!!!!"  
  
She stared at him for a few moments. "Let go," she said, flatly. He did. "Xelloss, this is exactly why I NEED a vacation! You are grating on my nerves!!"  
  
Xelloss sniffled, looking up at her sadly from the floor. "Zelas-sama doesn't love me anymore."  
  
"Now, that-" she began.  
  
"-is a secret that you've been keeping from me all these years!!!" he finished, standing up and holding his hands on his face, dramatically.  
  
Zelas gaped at him for a minute. "I've made a decision. I'm hiring you a nanny."  
  
Xelloss' mouth dropped to the floor. "What??" he demanded. "A nanny?? Why??"  
  
"Because without SOMEONE here, you'll lose your mind and probably destroy the world!" she yelled.  
  
"I thought we wanted to destroy the world," he said, turning his head to the side.  
  
"Well....." The Beastmaster thought for a moment. "We do.....just not while we're both on it."  
  
"But what if the nanny neglects and abuses me?" he cried. "You'd never forgive yourself! You know you wouldn't!"  
  
"But, that's where your wrong, Xelloss, my boy!" she declared, picking something off the floor. "I'm using one of the most reliable sources of reliability known to woman-" She showed him a copy of the newspaper. "The want ads."  
  
**  
  
Zelas went into the adjoining room and pulled a cell phone out of the air. She dialed the number indicated in the want ads.  
  
"Hello? Are you....um....Mary Sunshine?" the Beastmaster asked, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, I'm glad I caught you before you left your house. I have a job for you. I want you to be my....my son's nanny for three weeks while I go on vacation.....yes. I'll pay whatever you're requiring. Well, my son may be a little difficult. You see, he's somewhat hard to deal with, as he suspects that everyone is trying to kill him. But, I trust that you won't have a problem getting him to trust you, right? That's good to hear. Goodbye."  
  
**  
  
Xelloss had been listening as well as possible through the door, every now and then getting snips of the conversation. ".....glad I caught you......have a job for you.....I want you to be my son.....while I go on vacation......pay whatever you're requiring.....my son may be a little difficult......to kill......you won't have a problem....right.....goodbye."  
  
"Ahh!! She's trying to knock me off the food chain!! She's replacing me!" the priest exclaimed. He opened the door quickly. "No! Don't do it!!!" he wailed, seeing Beastmaster sitting on the bed.  
  
Zelas turned off the phone and snapped it out of existence. "Congratulations, Xelly," she said, continuing to pack her suitcases. "You have a nanny."  
  
"But I don't wanna nanny!!" he whined, throwing himself on her dark blue suitcases to stop her from packing. "I just want you to stay here with me forever!! Don't LEAVE ME!!! Please don't let her kill me!! I'll be good!! So much more good than you could ever possibly imagine!!!"  
  
"Xelloss, get off of my clothes!" she snapped, pulling a scanty pink nightgown out from under him.  
  
The priest teleported directly behind her and glomped her around the neck. "Don't go!!! I need you!!"  
  
"Gack!" Zelas said, choking. "Let go." He did. "It's time you grew up. I'm not going to be around forever, and neither are you."  
  
"AAH! Don't say that!" he cried, abruptly.  
  
The mazoku lord closed her last suitcase and picked them all up. "Xelloss, let go!" she exclaimed, trying to get out the door with Xelloss attached to her leg.  
  
"Don't goooooo!!!" he wailed.  
  
With one powerful kick, Zelas was free of her lackey and disappeared from view. "Goodbye!" a voice called from nowhere. "The nanny will be here in an hour! If you're bored, then why don't you get Lina Inverse and her little friends to come and entertain you?"  
  
"Yes," Xelloss said, upon sudden realization. He rubbed his hands together, plotting. "That's exactly what I'll do!!"  
  
**  
  
NoV: To be continued. ^_^  
  
Zelgadis: (rolling with laughter) This is the best fic ever!!  
  
Xelloss: Oh, sure. You're having fun because pseudo-me isn't.  
  
Zelgadis: (snicker) Exactly.  
  
NoV: Well, that's it for part one! Stay tuned for part two if you will!! ^_^  
  
Xelloss: And find out if pseudo-me is anymore paranoid than we've already established. ^;^ 


	2. The Babysitter

Babysitting Blues Part 2  
  
**  
  
Xelloss: My life is sad.  
  
Bishounen: You think your life is sad.....  
  
Banana peel: Hey! That's my line!!  
  
NoV: .....I'll ignore that. Anyway, I've got the next installment of Babysitting Blues!!  
  
Lina: We never would've guessed. -.-0  
  
Zelgadis: I need some coffee.....  
  
Xelloss: I thought you liked this fic.  
  
Zelgadis: I do!! (grabs Xelloss by the collar) Doesn't mean I don't still need coffee, you fruitcake!!!!  
  
Xelloss: You need coffee and a breath mint. ^_^  
  
Zelgadis: (pushes Xelloss aside) Nova-chan.....(grabs NoV) WHY DIDN'T YOU INSTALL THAT COFFEE WATERFALL I WANTED????  
  
NoV: Errm.....because it's not in the budget, Zel-kun....  
  
Zelgadis: (releases NoV and grabs Lina) Pay her!! I know you have money!! (pats Lina's hip as if searching for her wallet)  
  
Lina: ZELGADIS!! (kicks him into the wall)  
  
Amelia: Oh....Miss Lina. (mournfully looks over at the crumpled Zel) We were about to get to the part where he grabs me!  
  
NoV: Oh-kay, before Zelgadis kills us all, we're breaking for the fic! Enjoy!!  
  
Zelgadis: (groans)  
  
**  
  
Xelloss closed all the curtains in Zelas' castle. He snickered insanely to himself. "If I have to be stuck here with some-some nanny thing, then I don't plan to do it alone!" he exclaimed, picking up the phone and dialing Lina's hotel room number.  
  
It rang twice before Lina answered it. "Hello?" she wondered, groggily.  
  
"Good morning to you," Xelloss said, disguising his voice to sound like an old lady.  
  
"It's not morning," Lina responded flatly. "It's 2 a.m."  
  
"I do believe that still qualifies as morning, dearie," he said. "But, now that you mention it, I seem to be in the need of your services."  
  
"Yeah, well, isn't everyone?"  
  
"And I intend to pay you 10,000,000 yen up front if you'll help me."  
  
DING-DONG.  
  
Xelloss smiled to himself, hanging up the phone. "Lina-san must've learned teleportation."  
  
**  
  
Xelloss reappeared by the door. He opened it and said, "I'm glad you came so quickly!! I've got a real problem, and-" He suddenly stopped when he saw who was at the door.  
  
Filia combed her hand through her hair and flung part of it over her shoulder. She was looking down at a small piece of paper and hadn't noticed Xelloss yet. "Yes, I'm sorry it took me so long, but the directions got blurry when I dropped this paper in a mud puddle, you see." She looked up. "So---namagomi???"  
  
"Filia....." Xelloss whispered. "Go away!!!" He slammed the door in her face.  
  
"But I'm babysitting!!" she cried, muffled by the door.  
  
The priest quickly reopened the door. "You're WHAT???"  
  
"So, where is the little bundle of pain?" she asked, flatly. "If he's related to you, then I'm sure I'm in for a real headache."  
  
Xelloss made a design in the carpet with his foot, absent-mindedly.  
  
"You didn't EAT him, did you?" Filia raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Of course I didn't eat him!' Xelloss exclaimed. "Although, it sounds very appealing right about now.....and by the way, you lied!!"  
  
"I did?" the priestess shrieked, taking a step back.  
  
"Yes, you told my-" his eyes grew big and sparkly, "-wonderful and perfect Master and Creator, Zelas-sama, that your name was Mary Sunshine! See, look at this note I found on her bed!!"  
  
He handed her a purple piece of paper that read: "Xelly-chan, I'll be gone for three weeks, and I hope you won't cause any trouble for your new nanny. Her name is Mary Sunshine and she'll be over soon....now get off of my bed!! Love, Zelas."  
  
"What were you doing on her bed?" Filia wondered.  
  
"Weeping!!" he cried. "So, you did lie. I win. :P"  
  
"No, of course I DIDN'T LIE!!" she yelled, her head growing bigger. "The name of my babysitting service is called 'Mary Sunshine, Inc.' Your mistress misinterpreted it. Anyway, so his name is Xelly-chan?" She turned up her nose. "That's originality for you...."  
  
"Well, actually....." Xelloss sweatdropped. "It's me."  
  
"What's you?" she asked, fearing for the worst.  
  
"I'm Xelly-chan......"  
  
"....."  
  
"....."  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!" Filia screamed. "I can't babysit you!!! You're over a thousand years old, at any rate!!!"  
  
"Well, my....wonderful and perfect Master and Mistress, Zelas- sama.....worries when she leaves me alone," he replied. "So, why don't you just go back to your little hole or your little cave and we can pretend that Xelloss' babysitter never showed up, oh-kay?"  
  
Filia got an evil smile on her face. "I've got a better idea......"  
  
**  
  
Xelloss: She's going to kill me!!!  
  
NoV: She probably is.  
  
Xelloss: I'm too young to die!!  
  
Zelgadis: (scrubbing the floor wearing a little apron) Yeah, right.....  
  
NoV: Sorry, Zel-kun, but it's one of the rules: you pit the floor, you clean the floor.  
  
Lina: Am I supposed to show up and get caught in the middle of all the mayhem that I'm sure is going to happen.  
  
NoV: Eventually. ^_^ Well, keep reviewing and I'll keep bringing it!! 


	3. Filia and Xelloss have Issues

NoV: Erm......sorry about the late update. ^.^ I've been a little busy lately......  
  
Lina: Yeah. Having to sleep all day and then watching TV for the rest of the night would tire anyone out.  
  
NoV: ......well.....  
  
Xelloss: I don't like this story! It's about time we got on with another one!!  
  
Zelgadis: I like it just fine.  
  
Xelloss: Of course, you do. This is the first one that hasn't had you in it at all.  
  
NoV: Oh, don't worry, you guys! You'll all be in the story veeeeeery soon. ^_^  
  
Phibby: Even me??  
  
NoV: Well.....maybe not. I guess I could work you in somehow or another.....  
  
Phibby: Yay!!  
  
**  
  
Xelloss grumbled to himself, standing in front of the kitchen sink. He wore a hairnet lopsidedly on his head, and an apron that said, "I'd rather be pissing off Fi-chan." Filia had decided to bring about her revenge by making him wash the dishes.  
  
"When you're done in there," she called from a cozy chair in the den, "you can sweep!"  
  
"Sweep what?" Xelloss demanded, turning around.  
  
"Everything!"  
  
"Stupid Filia," the mazoku said to himself, scrubbing harder.  
  
DING-DONG.  
  
"Xelloss, why don't you get that?" Filia asked, filing her fingernails, absent-mindedly.  
  
"Yes, Master," Xelloss droned, teleporting to the door. With a sarcastic facefault, he opened the door. His face suddenly turned ecstatic and relieved when he spied Lina, Zelgadis, Gourry, and Amelia. Though, he was less happy to see Amelia. "Lina-san!! You've come to my rescue!! Yay!"  
  
"YOU'RE the person that needed my 'services'??" Lina demanded, grabbing his collar. "Of all the perverted, baka, hentai-"  
  
"No, Lina-chan!" Xelloss laughed. "I don't require THOSE services.....at least not this time. You see, my.....wonderful and perfect Master and Mommy, Zelas-sama, left me. She abandoned me! She may as well have just ditched me in the middle of the desert or something!! And.....she sent FILIA to 'babysit' me!!!!" he cried, glomping Lina. "Help me."  
  
Lina stared at him for a minute, skeptically. She then proceeded to laugh at loud at his situation. "You're being babysat by FILIA?? This is great!! Zelgadis, get the video camera!"  
  
"Already have," Zelgadis said, filming the incredulous priest. "I'm going to make copies and sell them."  
  
"That's not funny!!" Xelloss exclaimed, trying to grab the camera from Zelgadis, who continued to film, unheeding. "This is incredibly serious! I KNOW she's just waiting for me to turn my back and then she'll KILL me!!" He felt a tap on his shoulder and jumped through the ceiling, screaming.  
  
Gourry shrugged. "I just wanted to ask where the kitchen is."  
  
**  
  
Xelloss, holding nails in his mouth, hung upside-down, fixing the ceiling. "Stupid Filia," he mumbled through the nails. "She's still waiting for the right moment to KILL me. Either that, or she wants one of Zelgadis' tapes, a well....."  
  
Meanwhile, the rest of the slayers sat comfortably in Zelas' den, Lina sipping her wine, while the other drank cocoa or, in Zelgadis' case, coffee.  
  
Filia laughed, heartily. "I can't BELIEVE I'm getting paid to do this!" she exclaimed, happily. "I get paid to torture my greatest enemy....." She sighed, satisfied.  
  
"Xelloss had better pay me too," Lina growled, staring in his direction. "I didn't come all the way out here for kicks."  
  
Gourry, who had dragged the refrigerator into the den with him, said, "I'm getting paid too!!" He proceeded to pig out on the food in the fridge.  
  
"I'll get paid as soon as I make copies of this video," Zel mentioned, patting his video camera, lovingly.  
  
"Am I the only one in this room NOT getting paid??" Amelia demanded.  
  
"Not anymore!" a voice exclaimed, seemingly coming from no direction. Phibby phased in on the mantle above the fireplace. "Hello, all!"  
  
"Phibby!!" Lina shouted. "What.....are you doing here??"  
  
"MR. PHIBBY!!" Amelia yelled. "You haven't been practicing your 'life is wonderful' drills, have you?"  
  
"Of course not," he said, grimacing. "I came because I felt some very lovely negative emotions and thought it was the perfect time to eat!"  
  
"Yes," Filia spat, inching away from the Hellmaster. "That would be Xelloss. I'm getting my revenge."  
  
"How very interesting!" Phibby shrieked, clapping his hands together. "So, you've laid siege on this castle, and made him your servant, eh?"  
  
"Um.....something like that."  
  
Xelloss groaned from the other room. "I finished repairing the stupid ceiling!" he yelled. "And you can't make me do anything else, or I'll tell my Mommy!!"  
  
He teleported into the room. "Phibby?" the priest wondered. "What's up?"  
  
"Just came for a big helping of negativity pie," he replied, cheerfully.  
  
"Young man!" Filia raged, her tail popping out of her dress. "You need to take a bath!! Look how filthy you are!!"  
  
Xelloss looked down and noticed that his shirt had been soiled with dust from the broken roof. "Oh, that's not a problem, Mistress of Goody- Goodness." He disappeared and reappeared in a span of two seconds, clean as ever. "See, all done."  
  
"Nope, that's not good enough!" Filia yelled. "You need to go take a bath right now!"  
  
"I don't need to take a bath, Fi-chan!! I can wash without even using water!!" he explained. "You see, by going to the astral plane, I-"  
  
"No excuses!!" the dragon bellowed. "When I say you need a bath, YOU NEED TO GO UPSTAIRS, TURN THE WATER ON, GET IN, AND WASH WITH SOAP!!!!! NOW DO IT!!!!!" Her tail shrank. "Unless you need some assistance. I'd be sooo happy to bathe my sweet lil Xelly-welly." She smiled evilly at him.  
  
Xelloss opened his eyes wide in terror. "NO THAT'S OH-KAY!!!!" he said quickly, racing up the steps to the bathroom.  
  
"Wow, Filia," Gourry remarked. "That was cool."  
  
**  
  
Xelloss: That was no cool.  
  
Gourry: I agree.  
  
Xelloss: Then why did you say that?  
  
Gourry: Hmmm......  
  
Xelloss: Well?  
  
Gourry: Wait......I have no idea!  
  
Minna: -.-0  
  
NoV: I hope that was enjoyable!! What would you like to see in the next chappie?? I promise to get it up as fast as physically possible!! Sayonara!! 


	4. Tub Fun!

Babysitting Blue Part.....um....part....  
  
NoV: What part is this, anyway??  
  
Xelloss: (darkly) 5493.  
  
Zelgadis: Awww. Xelloss must be getting old. It's only part four, grandpa.  
  
Xelloss: Haha. Veeery amusing, Zel-chan. VVVEEEEERRRRYYY amusing.  
  
NoV: Whaddya say we go ahead and start the fic?  
  
**  
  
Xelloss grumbled to himself as he sank down into the steaming bath water. "Stupid lizard telling me to take a bath," he murmured. "I'll have my revenge soon enough, Fi-chan......"  
  
**  
  
Meanwhile, downstairs in Zelas' den, Filia sat knitting a sweater for Xelloss. "You just have to know how to control children," she was saying to Lina.  
  
"That is so true," Lina said, sarcastically.  
  
They heard a loud splash and a PING upstairs, followed by "ITAI!!!"  
  
"I'd better go check on the baby," Filia mentioned, trying to put all of her sewing materials away.  
  
"Don't worry, Filia," Gourry shouted, excitedly. "I'll go!!"  
  
**  
  
Xelloss groaned, rubbing his head. "Stupid slippery soap....." he hissed.  
  
KNOCK, KNOCK.  
  
"Um......" The mazoku panicked. "Don't come in!!"  
  
The door flung open and Gourry tripped over himself, coming in. "Hi, baby!!!" he exclaimed. "Whatcha doin'?"  
  
"Goo-chan!" Xelloss wailed. "PLEASE tell me you're not going to play these baby games with me again! I don't think my mind can take it!"  
  
"Aw, silly Xel-chan! I love you!!" Gourry squeaked. He grabbed a rubber duckie and threw it into the tub with Xelloss. "And there's a widdle toy for the baby to pway with!"  
  
Xelloss sweatdropped and sank further into the water, blowing bubbles with his mouth. "Great," he mumbled under the water.  
  
Suddenly, there were loud, high-heeled shoe sounding footsteps coming up the stairs. "Oh, no!!" Xelloss shrieked. "Gourry, hide!!" He grabbed Gourry by the neck of his shirt and pulled him into the tub with him. "Be quiet and stay down," he ordered.  
  
This time there was no knock. The door simply opened, to reveal Lina standing in the doorway. She growled at the priest. "What did you do with Gourry?" she demanded.  
  
"He......flew out the window to find the holy grail?" Xelloss replied, hoping she'd believe him.  
  
"Uh-huh," Lina said, flatly. "Where is he really?"  
  
"SURPRISE!!!" Gourry yelled, jumping out of the water, splashing Lina. "I was in the tub the WHOLE time!!!"  
  
Lina stared at Xelloss and Gourry, sharing the bath tub together. "You guys are sick. I'm leaving." She turned around, dripping wet, and went back downstairs.  
  
"What's her problem?" Gourry wondered, scratching his head.  
  
Xelloss shrugged, and proceeded to pour shampoo into his hair.  
  
**  
  
"I can't believe that Mr. Xelloss and Mr. Gourry could be capable of such a heinous and inJust crime!!" Amelia cried, hugging her plush "J." "We should punish them in the name of Justice!!!"  
  
"Or, I could just go upstairs and film them," Zelgadis said, grinning.  
  
"Yes, well, at any rate-" Filia began, just as the ceiling caved in. Xelloss and Gourry, still in the tub, fell through it and landed on the den floor.  
  
"Yay!!" Gourry exclaimed. "I broke the house!!"  
  
Xelloss coughed up dust and sawdust from the ceiling. "I'm going to kill you, Gourry."  
  
**  
  
NoV: ^_^ I did my best to get this up ASAP!! I need ideas for what should happen in the next! Tell me, tell me! 


	5. Mommy's Home!

Babysitting Blue Part 5  
  
**  
  
NoV: I'd like to make something very clear. ^_^ A.S.A.P. Does anyone know what that means? Anyone? Anyone?  
  
Gourry: I do!! (raises his hand)  
  
NoV: Yes, Gourry?  
  
Gourry: As scrumptious as pie!!  
  
Minna: ......-.-0  
  
Nov: No. It means As soon as POSSIBLE. Possible is a word that means something that I can physically do. I can physically write a fanfic if I have my computer, which I do not have when I am a) at work, b) at school, or c) dead asleep or tired. I understand that people like my fanfics, and want to read them, but please don't e-mail me and pester me about it every five minutes, people!! (huffs)  
  
Xelloss: This rant has been brought to you by all the impatient people who read Nova-chan's fanfics.  
  
NoV: Indeed. Now, enjoy the fic!  
  
**  
  
Before anyone noticed his lack of clothing, Xelloss mysteriously poofed his normal outfit back on and stood up out of the bath tub, soaking wet.  
  
Before he could retreat upstairs, Filia grabbed his arm, and said, "You're not going anywhere until you clean up this mess!!"  
  
"I already fixed the ceiling once today!!" he whined. "Not to mention Gourry and the bathtub! There's no way I'm going to clean all of this up!"  
  
**  
  
"I cannot believe that I'm cleaning all of this up," Xelloss grumbled, sweeping the floor where the tub had fallen.  
  
Lina and the others laughed happily in the kitchen, much to Xelloss' displeasure.  
  
"They're trying to kill me," he decided. "They want me to tire myself to the point that they can destroy me with a feather!!! They'll never get away with this!!" He looked around nervously and zapped the ceiling back into position. "I'll just have to beat them at their own game....."  
  
**  
  
"So, I said, grapefruit, not mate-fruit!" Lina exclaimed, as the room burst into laughter once again.  
  
"Once I was trying my best to serve Justice," Amelia said, seriously, "and all of a sudden, I was attacked by the evil bearers of in-Justice!! And, as always, Justice won and all was restored to the way it was meant to be."  
  
"You need to get out more, Amelia," Zelgadis told her, sweatdropping.  
  
"Xelloss is awfully quiet in there," Filia mentioned, suspiciously.  
  
Gourry looked up from raiding the fridge. "Quiet as a locomotive!!"  
  
The group stared at him, facefaulting.  
  
"Maybe I'd better go check on-" Filia began, standing up from the table.  
  
"Don't bother!!" Xelloss' voice exclaimed from behind them all. They turned around to see Xelloss sitting on top of the refrigerator, wearing camouflage. His face was painted and he held a small dagger in his hand. "I figured out your plan all too long ago!!" he told them, decidedly. "But I was just too smart to fall for it!!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Lina asked, flatly.  
  
"Don't play dumb with me!" the priest yelled, waving the dagger around. "You can't fool me, no way, no how!!"  
  
Filia sighed. "Sleep," she commanded, casting the sleep spell.  
  
Xelloss immediately slid down on his stomach on top of the refrigerator, snoring away.  
  
**  
  
Beastmaster Xelas curled her legs together on the beach chair beside the pool. She snickered to herself as a bus boy walked by, enamored by her tanned legs, and walked right into another boy who was carrying towels. She watched, delightedly as the two began to argue, and eventually fell into the pool.  
  
"Silly humans," she murmured. "Well," she stood up, grabbing her towel, "it's about time I got back to check on Xelly. He's probably killed that nanny by now." She phased out-  
  
**  
  
--and back in at her castle on Wolfpack Island. She found Filia sitting comfortably in the den, sipping a cup of tea.  
  
"Hello, you're back soon," Filia said, surprised.  
  
"Yes, I was a bit worried," Xelas replied, looking around for her lackey.  
  
"Oh, well, you shouldn't have been," the priestess exclaimed. "I hardly knew he was here-especially for the last three or four hours."  
  
"Well, you've done a great job......and the money has just been added to your account," the dark lord said with a smile. "You're free to go now."  
  
"All right. If you ever need me again, you know where to reach me!" Filia told her, going out the door, waving.  
  
"Thanks again." Xelas walked upstairs to Xelloss' bedroom. She grinned when she opened the door. Xelloss lay in a crib, wearing a baby bonnet and pajamas with footies. "Good night, baby Xelloss."  
  
**  
  
Xelloss: That was.....  
  
Zelgadis: Humiliating?  
  
Xelloss: Well, yes. I liked it!!  
  
NoV: -.-0 You really are some kind of a masochist, aren't you, Xelloss?  
  
Xelloss: ^_^ Indeed!  
  
Lina: Oh-kay, that's enough 'indeeds' for one lifetime, thank-you!!  
  
NoV: Anyway, for my next fic (odd wording) 


End file.
